Hidden Scars Made Visible
Eight years ago today I was told about my cancer diagnosis. I still clearly remember the conference room where I stood next to floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Northeast DC. Going numb, sitting down in the vacuum of silence, and writing the doctor’s to-do list, the trained calm urgency in her voice melting everything else to a blur.
Cancer: A word that used to be called “the C word” or leaked in hushed voices, as if saying it out loud would invite contagion.
Today cancer seems ubiquitous. Do we all know someone who has had it? Do you have it? The diagnosis stats are not getting any better (more and younger people). More than 10 million people died from cancer last year. Breast cancer diagnoses now have surpassed lung cancer as most commonly diagnosed.
What does is mean to “survive” a life threatening disease? For me it means living with:
- Pains, scars, and physical mobility limits from drug, surgical, and radiation injuries;
- Cognitive degradation that affects memory, balance, and processing;
- A heart that is functionality aged ten years beyond its physical age due to a drug that promised me life beyond the typical 5-year survival rate for my type of cancer;
- It is PTSD. Fatigue. Financial, career, family and social impacts.
When I write and say this, I know that other people can become uncomfortable, overwhelmed, numb, or dismissive.
The pressure to show my happy, loving, nature and outdoor adventuring, successful side is significant. Our society needs to believe in the survivor stories that glorify overcoming problems and platitudes of “fighting” and “winning the battle.” So me and millions of people like me walk around with our hidden scars.
What if you could see scars in irrefutable color on all our outsides? What would the color map on your body show?
My cancer scars co-exists with other traumas. Domestic abuse, living with an addict, and divorce have all been linked with women’s health issues, including cancer. Anecdotally, I heard from many women in my community who shared their cancer experiences with me. Every one of them was going through or had gone through a divorce within a few years prior to their diagnosis. (I would love to see formal studies on this data.)
We pink-ribbon up consumer products and have turned shopping for groceries and necessities into tax-deductible corporate “support,” while individuals and families go bankrupt due to our abysmal healthcare system. From 2010-2018, an estimated $3.7 BILLION was DONATED to help people with medical costs through online fundraising platforms.
I will not hide my pain and my scars until this country comes to its senses and provides Universal Health Care to Everyone! Not “insurance” — which is gambling against the odds and costs every person in losses. You can do everything “right” and still get cancer, MS, lyme disease, ALS, or Alzheimers, etc.
Being human is a pre-existing condition.
Our bodies living in toxic environments, consuming toxic materials, and having stressful experiences are contributing to the rise in health issues. We all need basic things to survive before we can work on thriving — shelter, food, health care.
You want to help your family and friends fight cancer? Or any medical or mental health condition? Well, how about we start by making sure EVERY PERSON has access to Universal Health Care.
This image shows the scars I carry every day; scars made visible so society cannot ignore the need we have to care for the people and this planet to make our existence as healthy as possible, to live our best lives possible.